A new month, a new set of questions! So the idea of this column is that I ask chicks topical questions in order to improve the lives of fellow man. This is how it works: I send questions to a chick that I know, they answer anonymously however they want (including a free-style answer at the end where they can say whatever they'd like about anything), I post their answers, and people read them (most likely laughing -- with the guys secretly taking notes).
I will probably be sending out the same questions to 2-3 chicks over the span of one month so the readers can compare answers between the different ladies. Then I'll be sending out a new set of questions for the next month. It's fun, and interesting.
So here is the fourth neural synapse: Anonymous Chick #4.
Seriously any job that he’s happy doing. It is way worse to have a man come home miserable and rich than happy and poor. Now, for the superficial woman in me, he does need to be able to support himself (and occasionally treat me). I’m more than willing to go up to the bar and buy us drinks or pick up the dinner tab, but I do expect to be treated every now and again. Fellas, we aren’t stupid, a moocher is easy to spot and you will be kicked to the curb so fast you won’t know what hit you. Even if you know the bill will be split at the end of the night, at least offer to pay, we take note and do appreciate it.
2) Most disgusting things guys should just wait to do when you aren't around?
Easy question -- anything that has to do with bodily functions. Let’s be real guys, we want you to be comfortable around us, but some things are better left to the imagination. I don’t think I have to spell it out, you know what I mean. I also don’t ever need to see you “manscaping” or clipping your toenails.
3) Most and least romantic things a guy ever did for you, respectively?
The most romantic thing a guy has ever done for me happened on my 18th birthday. My then boyfriend told me to be dressed and ready at 6pm. Right at 6 a limo pulled up to my house and took me to a restaurant where my boyfriend was waiting for me, roses in hand. After dinner the limo took us to Niagara Falls. We walked around and at the top of the Falls he gave me my birthday present, a birthstone ring.
Now don’t get scared, I realize this is a bit extreme, but when asked what the most romantic thing a guy has ever done, I obviously went to the most grandiose gesture. Honestly, I know it’s cliché, but it is the small things that mean the most because it says you are thinking about us. A close second is when I came home one afternoon to find little papers all over my bed with personal notes on each one describing why my then boyfriend loved me. That ALMOST beat the limo…
Thinking of the least romantic thing a guy has ever done is tough. It usually is when they have done nothing at all. I think the least romantic, or I should say most disappointing, is when you are expecting something (specifically on certain holidays, special occasions etc.) and then the guy does nothing. I won’t ever say anything out loud, but I am secretly crushed.
4) What’s the best way for a guy to deal with an angry drunk girlfriend? (I understand that without a context this question may be difficult, but please give it the jolly good try.)
Unfortunately there is no good way to deal with an angry drunk girlfriend. It is inevitable that at one point we will be drunk, irrational and angry, even when you have done absolutely nothing wrong. That being said, repeat after me: "You’re right. I’m so sorry. Let’s go to bed."
5) How sensitive must a guy be?
I think it's disappointing that there is such a stigma on guys who show their emotions... don't get me wrong... I don't want to date someone who cries when he sees puppies in a kennel... but I don't think being a man means that you have to drown your sorrows in Muscle Milk and punch walls when you don't get your way. A good balance -- and what I find most attractive -- is someone who is able to protect and comfort me, but also lets me comfort him... we expect guys to be human... we tend to like humans.
6) How CAN’T a guy ask a girl out (i.e. is it okay to ask a girl out over g-chat/email/text/etc.)?
Gchat, email, text, messages in the sand, send an invite via the Good Year blimp -- I think they're all viable and acceptable means of communication... but there are limits -- I'd recommend not having a friend, or any other third party, asking a girl out for you. This isn't recess and I don't want to sit with you at lunch if you can't ask me yourself. Women tend to be receptive when a guy is confident and decisive -- offer a place and a time and seem genuinely interested, and we'll accept (and look forward to it).
7) Would you date a younger guy? How young?
Of course! Age is just a number baby! Let’s be serious, I would never stoop to a Bieber level (gross and illegal), but a few years doesn’t hurt anybody. What I think is most important is being at the same place in your lives. It would be hard to date a raging frat boy that is only concerned with how many beers he can shotgun before puking when you are worried about “real-person” things like waking up for your job on time and paying your bills.
8) Scenario: It’s your first time having sex with a particular person. Stay conventional and work up, later, to other positions? Or is the first time with someone like an audition... pull out all of the stops?
First of all, it depends on how drunk you are haha. But really, you need a happy balance. The first time you are having sex with someone is not the time to pull out the whips and chains, but you also want to show some skill so the person knows you are good at what you’re doing. It’s definitely okay to throw in a couple of different positions so the person knows you’re not boring, but don’t get too crazy, I’m not an Olympic gymnast. Ultimately, you want the person coming back for more.
9) Top or bottom (and why)?
This is definitely all personal preference and I know for a fact that many women would disagree with me, but definitely bottom. There is nothing hotter than having a guy flip you over and take you like he can’t stand to not have you any longer.
10) Freestyle. Go!
We want you to be honest, but don’t tell us everything. We don’t want to play games, yet we need a little mystery. Being called ‘cute’ is too much like you’re referring to your little sister, yet being called ‘gorgeous’ means you’re trying too hard. Basically we know that we are extremely difficult, confusing and at times impossible, but we’ll usually (note that I didn’t say ALWAYS) make it up to you with sex.
Thanks Anonymous Chick # 4. Key takeaway: Hold off on the whips and chains until the second date.
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