Mmm mmm good! (As always.) So the idea of this column is that I ask chicks topical questions in order to improve the lives of fellow man. This is how it works: I send questions to a chick that I know, they answer anonymously however they want (including a free-style answer at the end where they can say whatever they'd like about anything), I post their answers, and people read them (most likely laughing -- with the guys secretly taking notes).
I will probably be sending out the same questions to 2-3 chicks over the span of one month so the readers can compare answers between the different ladies. Then I'll be sending out a new set of questions for the next month. It's fun, and interesting.
So here is the tenth neural synapse: Anonymous Chick #10.
1) What type of outfit catches your eye on a guy? What turns you off?
It definitely depends on the setting. Passing on the street or waiting for the Metro on a weekday, business suits will most likely make you noticeable. In most other settings, I notice the comfortably preppy outfits. I like polos and have a soft spot for tasteful argyle, but I don’t care to know what brand you wear; and if you can reasonably swing it, given setting and temperature – you better be wearing flops (specifically rainbows – my one brand-snob preference). I can’t think of any turn-off outfits. Some guys look better in, and some settings call for, more athletic, more professional, or more brand-conscious types of outfits. But at the end of the day, I like a confident guy – regardless of the outfit. So wear what makes you comfortable.
2) Do you like more traditional dates (think dinner and a movie), or do you like more unique/adventurous dates? Please use examples.
I like meal or coffee or happy hour dates toward the beginning of dating, because I want to have conversation and figure out if I like you for the right reasons. Given that, I actually think movie dates suck in the early stages of a relationship. If I already know I like you, or we’re already dating, then the game changes. Top dates for me include: wandering around a downtown area and into buildings/floors of buildings where we probably were not supposed to go, getting day drunk and meandering around before walking home while the rest of the world is getting ready to start the night, going to concerts, and making dinner together.
3) What level of intimacy constitutes cheating (kissing, making out, BJ, sex, etc.)? What level of intimacy triggers some sort of duty to tell your significant other of what you did?
All of it. I once heard that if it’s something you wouldn’t want to see your mom doing with your neighbor, then it’s too much. Anything that involves kissing or more is not something I want my boyfriend doing with some other chick. That said, I only enter relationships when I am serious about them and want the exclusivity factor. Some couples don’t operate on that level – and if it works for them, fine. But I draw the line at kissing.
4) Under what circumstances is it acceptable for a girl to “go commando”? Have you? If so, describe the circumstances.
Have I gone commando? Of course! In fact, May 7 used to be commando day for my sorority class. Sometimes you just go commando for the hell of it. But not usually. Times where commando is the way to go: (1) date night with the boyfriend – wear a skirt and at the appropriate moment (when you’re still out) mention the fact that you’re not wearing underwear and are looking forward to showing him the perfect end to the perfect date night, (2) certain so-called “walk of shame” (walk of victory?) mornings… and (3) if you pee your pants. Duh.
5) Do you flirt with guys, even if you are in a relationship? If so, why? What kind of things do you do/say to flirt?
I love people, and I have a really friendly/social/includer-type personality. That definitely does not change when I’m in a relationship. In fact, when I’m in a healthy relationship, I have more confidence than ever. So in conversation, I probably come across as very interested in you (because I am, as a friend), and I probably invite you to happy hours and include you in making plans. I love my friends – new and old, and I do these things because I truthfully want you around. But do I act like or say anything that would imply I want your tongue down my throat or to go home together? Definitely not. In fact, my priority is to have my boyfriend around, not only because I enjoy a tasteful amount of PDA, but also because I do want to go home with him. If my actions ever don’t line up with this, you can bet that relationship will end in the very near future.
6) What’s the most unusual thing a guy has tried to do during sex? Did you ultimately go with it, or not?
I dated a guy who went through a photography fetish. Once, right in the middle of fooling around, he stopped and asked if he could turn the lights on and take pictures of us while we were already all hot and bothered. Of course I went with it. And of course it was fun. Now that we have broken up, I shudder when I think about the possibility of anyone ever coming into the possession of that flash drive, the home photos of me on my knees and in other various positions with him… [editor's note: best. answer. ever.]
7) Do you like music on the bedroom during sex, and why? Lights on or off, and why?
More often than not – yes. Not only have I been fortunate to sleep with guys who have good musical taste, but also because they tend to not live alone. I certainly do not mean that music should be playing every time, but if he plays music, I will like it. I find it especially cute either at the beginning of a relationship, or awhile in as a gesture of romance. Lights – doesn’t matter. If I’m sleeping with you, I’m confident enough to let you see me; also, I like daytime action, so darkness isn’t really an option. Dim or no lights can also be really sexy, though.
8) Do you require your man to trim “down there”? Any personal preference, in terms of style?
Require? No, but I have never slept with anyone who didn’t keep it reasonably trim. So if I came across something bad, I suppose it would be a requirement to some extent. I want him to be comfortable, so I would never set up strict standards. But I also don’t want either a mouthful of hair or a face-scratching experience when I’m blowing him.
9) Have you ever cheated on a significant other? Be honest. If you did, feel free to justify yourself, and was it worth it? And if you didn’t, ever been cheated on?
Cheating is tricky. Two circumstances come to mind where I could be guilty. In the first, I was out of town and very drunk, and another drunk guy (who I repeatedly told of my boyfriend) grabbed my face and kissed it as I turned around at one point. I pushed him away and nothing else happened, but I still felt really bad about it. The second: more than once, I would hang out with an ex with whom I was still friends, and we’d cuddle. One time I cried to him about my grandpa until I fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning with him still cuddling me. So you tell me, guys – did I cheat? And to my knowledge, I haven’t been cheated on – though I did once find a file that made me suspicious in a boyfriend’s dropbox folder.
10) Freestyle. Go!
My current pet peeve surrounds boys hitting on me when they actually have girlfriends. Seriously guys, why? If you aren’t happy with her – get rid of her. And if you are happy with her, then keep your shit together and refrain from various forms of trying to get with other girls. When I’m drunk, and I do not know you well, I’m going to assume you’re single if you make a move on me. If I find out you actually have a lady, I am going to feel bad about my own actions, and I am going to feel like you are an asshole both to me and your girl. Flattering, sort of, that you think I’m hot. But not really. Because I do not want attention from someone who thinks it’s cool to cheat on the girl they’re supposed to be committed to. Don’t do it. Thanks.
Thanks Anonymous Chick # 10. Key takeaway: Bring a camera.
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