The best, sexiest, answers yet! So the idea of this column is that I ask chicks topical questions in order to improve the lives of fellow man. This is how it works: I send questions to a chick that I know, they answer anonymously however they want (including a free-style answer at the end where they can say whatever they'd like about anything), I post their answers, and people read them (most likely laughing -- with the guys secretly taking notes).
I will probably be sending out the same questions to 2-3 chicks over the span of one month so the readers can compare answers between the different ladies. Then I'll be sending out a new set of questions for the next month. It's fun, and interesting.
So here is the ninth neural synapse: Anonymous Chick #9.
1. When is it cool in a relationship for the guy to expect you to chip in some money for dinners, activities, etc.?
This is a hard question, because it varies with the relationship, and the guy. I’d say that unless the guy is really insistent on paying, I tend to chip in pretty early on (but if he’s a lot wealthier than I am, I’ll let him pay). I always at least reach for my wallet when the check comes, because I don’t want to be seen like *that* girl, but generally, I’m a grown-ass woman and I can take care of/pay for myself. I don’t think either party should ever expect the other party to pay. This isn’t 1810.
2. Do you like your guys to have a thin, athletic, average, or muscular build? Why?
I don’t like guys to be skinnier than me. Ideally, they need to be big enough to toss me around a little in bed (and fight off ninja attacks), and hopefully he’s athletic enough to get through sexytime without wheezing or needing a water break. I’m definitely not looking for a Jersey Shore
3. How does a guy avoid being put into the “friend zone”?
There’s the friend zone, and the “friend zone.” The friend zone isn’t necessarily bad, because I’ve ended up hooking up with and/or dating some of my friends. I’m terrible when it comes to dating, so I like the ease of starting to date someone that I already know I get along with. Sometimes guys can’t help being in the “friend zone” because that’s where girls put guys they have no interest in hooking up with, ever, ever. Be a good guy and a good friend to her; if you think you might be in the friend zone, try a flirty advance, like a hug, and see how she reacts. If she twists away from your hug, you’re in the “friend zone” but if it’s full-body contact and she lingers, I’d say that’s a signal from the ump to steal second.
4. Are there any hints you give off when you “like” a guy? How about when you want to “bang”?
If I like you, I’m always trying to make you laugh, smiling a lot, making eye contact, finding excuses to touch you, making plans to hang out. You know, the same stuff girls have been doing since the third grade. I show a lot of cleavage if we’re out, maybe I toss my hair around a little, maybe I try to give you a sly little look across the room (this part doesn't always work after a few drinks and my eyes are half-closed). I’m also really sarcastic, so if you can take it, and fling it right back at me, it’s such a turn on.
I’m not subtle. You know I want to bang when I text you something along the lines of “hey, wanna come over later?”
If I like you, I’m always trying to make you laugh, smiling a lot, making eye contact, finding excuses to touch you, making plans to hang out. You know, the same stuff girls have been doing since the third grade. I show a lot of cleavage if we’re out, maybe I toss my hair around a little, maybe I try to give you a sly little look across the room (this part doesn't always work after a few drinks and my eyes are half-closed). I’m also really sarcastic, so if you can take it, and fling it right back at me, it’s such a turn on.
I’m not subtle. You know I want to bang when I text you something along the lines of “hey, wanna come over later?”
5. Have you ever (would you ever) date a guy from work?
I wouldn’t really call it “dating” … but I had a FWB from work once, and it was AWESOME. We could sneak away and hook up, and I could totally get him flustered by playing the “sexy secretary” and making little innuendos that nobody else would pick up on. And all day was like constant foreplay… but it was easier to do because I knew I was leaving the company soon, so I didn’t care what happened after it was over. Not that I really cared anyway, but at least it wasn’t awkward.
6. In the locker room, how much clothes do girls really wear? I’m sure that they are pretty much naked all of the time, but I just need confirmation.
I’d say most women are naked at some point in the locker room. This isn’t as hot as you’d think – all shapes, sizes, and ages are naked, so you have to watch out. The worst are the old ladies who just plop down on the benches without putting a towel down first….ew.
7. How much dirty nasty sex shit do you tell your girlfriends about your own sex life? How much detail do you go into?
All of it. No seriously, all of it. Especially the weird shit you guys pull that you’ve seen in some porno that makes us go… “I’m sorry, what was that?”
8. If you were a guy, who is a hot famous female that you would totally bang?
Emmanuelle Chriqui (Sloan from Entourage). And I wouldn’t even have to be a guy… [Editor's note: niiice...]
9. Would you ever have a three way, and if so, with two guys or one guy and another chick? And if not, why not?
Probably, but I think only with another chick. The dynamic with two guys would be weird, because I know they probably wouldn’t be into seeing each other naked, and there would be avoidance and weirdness, and no. Two girls and one guy seems to be the only situation where everybody would be happy to be with everyone else, lots of touching. Also, I can be kind of lazy and two guys just sounds like way too much work for me.
10. Freestyle. Go!
Men and women really aren’t all that different -- we want friendship, fun, and regular orgasms from someone who’s not totally hideous. Bonus if you like dogs, sports, and wine (well, maybe that’s just for me). We’re not that complicated, I promise! Be a good person and it will show. Nice guys don’t finish last – they may finish later, because we’re still in the “douchebag dating” phase of our twenties, but you will finish (heh) and she’ll appreciate you for being nice.
Men and women really aren’t all that different -- we want friendship, fun, and regular orgasms from someone who’s not totally hideous. Bonus if you like dogs, sports, and wine (well, maybe that’s just for me). We’re not that complicated, I promise! Be a good person and it will show. Nice guys don’t finish last – they may finish later, because we’re still in the “douchebag dating” phase of our twenties, but you will finish (heh) and she’ll appreciate you for being nice.
Thanks Anonymous Chick # 9. Key takeaway: Stop. Being. Totally. Hideous.
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