Dime Piece of the Week: Jeri Ryan

Dime Piece. /dīm/ /pēs/ Noun. A really hot chick; a "ten."

While she is certainly a dime piece, there's something about this

style of make-up which makes her less attractive. Her hair

looks stupid too.

Ahh hell yeah, much better makeup and hair. The girl's

thin and she's clearly got assets -- win, win.

MC Hammer is always lookin' for chicks with asses. This chick,

however, has only modest "back." Notwithstanding that fact,

I still dig the table-cloth patterned skirt, in all the right ways.

The picture really focuses your eyes in one place; a very

good place; a place that turns boys into men.

A picture good for showing off her body -- she is very 

in-shape, boy I tell ya huwhat.

Eh. Apparently she's on one of those Star Trek TV shows, so they say.

Hot Chick of the Week: Amber Lancaster

Amber Lancaster is Hoooooooott. I know I'm biased towards blonde chicks, but dayum! This girl is a-smokin'!

I discovered this girl after seeing an episode of some TV show called "The Hard Times of RJ Berger" on MTV. Now, there is nothing special about this show, being a high-school-kid show, other than Amber Lancaster. The girl is smokin'.

Despite having really lame subject matter, the show's

writing is actually quite funny.

Remember the good old days of high school when you would show up at your model-hot-chick-"friends" house, and she'd be half naked, lying on the couch, ready for you to "take" her? Nah? Me neither.

She even has a hot chick name: Amber Lancaster. It's not quite "porn star," but it definitely signals "hot chick." I guess it could be a porn name... maybe. I love model pictures, because usually they have models doing the dumbest things in them. Like the picture above... is she like playing patty-cake with herself..? Hugging the mirror? Oh wait, she's acting like hot chicks do, I get it now... duh.

And again, acting like a hot chick... climbing up into an engine compartment, grease on her face... actually wait... that doesn't sound like something hot chicks do... don't they usually stay as far away from mechanical-type-things as possible? I mean dayum though, I'd hire her to fix my car, just for the show.

I love skimpy bikinis, I do declare!

All-in-all , she is a very good cross between "cute" and "hot," although I do think she is more attractive with slightly less eyeliner -- but that's just details.

Cute v. Hot

There has been some discussion lately regarding the words "cute" and "hot." So what is the difference between the two? Let's try to nail down something more than vague notions. As a starting point, let's see what dictionary.com has to say.

---

Dictionary.com

Cute: attractive, especially in a dainty way; pleasingly pretty

Dainty: of delicate beauty; exquisite.

Hot: sexy; attractive.

Sexy: sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality.

---

It quickly becomes clear that the word cute implies an innocent quality, whereas the word hot conjures sex in one's mind. Now, most of my female friends (probably all that I've talked to about this subject) have said that they take offense to being called "cute." They say that it implies that they are some degree of ugly -- maybe like the "girl next door" or "kid-sister-with-a-mole-on-the-nose-but-is-otherwise-moderately-attractive."


They say, that they much more prefer to be called "hot." So, does this mean that they just want to "radiate sexuality"? Would they agree with that definition of "hot"? Maybe, probably, girls are more sex-crazy than they let on. This isn't really news, but it can't hurt pointing out.

I don't think that the word "cute" gets the respect that it should. Now, my reverence for the word "cute," of course, is necessarily dependent on the definition that I attach to that word. I prescribe a narrow definition for "cute." I don't like using the word "dainty" in conjunction with "cute," because I think the connotation that comes along with dainty is weakness. I am not attracted to weakness. I think the definition "pleasingly pretty and attractive" is perfect for describing the meaning attached to the word "cute."

Being cute is not a crime. I think that being cute, as I define it, is a good thing, indeed 'tis preferable over a girl who only radiates pure sex. This is why: With the word "hot," comes "sex" (as a necessary implication). And with sex, no matter how enjoyable, and desired, comes at least a small amount of dirtiness. I don't mean dirtiness in like a bad way, in a morally despicable sense, but just a factual-descriptive way -- exchanges of bodily fluids, etc. etc. In the back of my mind, subconsciously perhaps, these thoughts arise when using the word "hot" to describe a "chick."

Now, where does this leave us? What amount of hotness should a girl have? What amount of cuteness should a girl have? Yo, the answer is obvious:

1) If you are looking for sex; dress and act "hot."
2) If you are looking for a relationship; dress and act "cute."

To me: Cuteness, in terms of personality, implies a quick wit, a sense of humor, intelligence (without being snobby), understanding, and compassion. Cuteness, in terms of physical appearances, is more elusive to lock down. I'm personally attracted to girls who wear funny t-shirts and tight-ass jeans... but I think this just reflects on my desire that a girl have personality -- mainly a sense of humor and not necessarily materialistic.

With all of this said, the perfect girl is one who has both "cuteness" and "hotness." This way you aren't just seen as a friend, but you are respectable, fun, intelligent, but also like to "get down" on occasion. For a visual breakdown of this standard, see the following graph:

In short, be more like Heidi Klum. Good day.

Hot Chick of the Week: Emmanuelle Chriqui

Emmanuelle Chriqui is a brunette, and a hot one.  Her last name looks like someone just pounded the keyboard and let random letters float onto the birth certificate.  Nonetheless, having a crappy last name surely doesn't affect her hotness at all -- I mean, come on, for those of you who know me, I'm living proof of this concept (although she may be slightly hotter, by maybe one thousandth of a meter).

Chriqui is from Canada of all places, despite her exotic look.  The answer lies, of course, with her parents, who are from Morocco. She was born near Montreal but was raised near Toronto (making her one of the less-evil Canadians, aka, not one of the smelly French-speaking ones).

Edgy, I know...

It was actually quite hard to find good pictures of Chriqui on the internettubes (compared to the almighty Brooklyn Decker).  But, I think the picture above gives you a good idea of what exactly we are dealing with this week.  As Borat would say, wowaweewaa!

I LOVE jeans...

...AND pools (but not sun glasses, or loopy earrings).

Chriqui was in that movie Don't Mess With the Zohan (2008), starring Adam Sandler -- which we all know was a huge success...  She apparently also has some sort of role in the TV show Entourage!  I don't watch much TV outside of The Office and old MacGyver and Quantum Leap re-runs, so I wouldn't know anything about her hotness on that show though.  But I can tell you that she has some quality.

Contemplative relaxing hotness picture.

That does it for this week.  Make sure you cover the computer screen so your girlfriend, fiancee, or wife doesn't catch you lookin' at this...

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Hot Chick of the Week: Brooklyn Decker

Brooklyn Decker
Yowser! I mean holy s#1t!

This girl... This girl has all of the assets.  As a friend said, she has "the best rack of the year," and it's like "a moment in time you want to cherish forever."  She should be "frozen into a statue" because a carver couldn't replicate such perfection.  In all seriousness though, she has a great face, beautiful eyes, and she isn't emaciated like some models.  So I mean, she does a good job with herself.

I like the beach too.

In my personal opinion Brooklyn Decker may very well be the hottest hot chick of the week so far.  Avid readers might know about my bias towards blondes... hey... it's an addiction... don't put your moral judgment on me.  But anyway, that explains my willingness to put them at the top of the list.  No one is twisting my arm.  Still... dayum!

Why do girls always insist on sleeping on rocks!?  So dumb...

Polka dots are awesome.

As some of you might have seen, she is in that new movie with Adam Sandler, Just Go With It.  I don't know anything about the plot, nor do I care to learn much about it.  It also has Jennifer Aniston, who is also quite a good looking individual.

I like the pink.

Hey hotness, would you like a Corona?

...or perhaps a Dos Equis?

 So what do you think about Brooklyn Decker?  Awesome or amazing?  9/10 or 9.5/10?

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Hot Chick of the Week: Tricia Helfer

Yeah, pretty much...

I don't know much about Tricia Helfer, nor do I care to. All I know is that she was on that TV show Battlefleet Starship... err... Galactic Battleflag? Hmm... Battlebeet Juicebox? You know, the show "about th[at] guy named Dumbledore Calrissian who needs to return the ring back to Mordor." I'm pretty sure that the character she played was a robot (a sexy-ass one).

You might see a bikini like this at the Jersey Shore,

but not being worn by a person of that quality.

I should get a subscription.

Dominatrix? Yes please.

She has an abundance of extremely hot pictures on Google images... so choosing the photos here was difficult and delightful. It looks like she spends the majority of her life almost naked... and I don't blame her, if I was a hot chick like that (or a hot dude), I'd spend most of my life naked too.

I enjoy perceiving you.

Photoshop much? (I mean seriously, 

she could pass for a really hot T-600)

Hot Chick of the Week: Cristina Scabbia

This will be a new thing for my blog. I will be posting the hot chick of the week, if I remember (or care) to do so. Being as this is a metal/music blog I will be looking first for chicks from that background, but it will definitely not be exclusive (considering the hot chick metal/hard rock pool is small, and because I don't discriminate against hotness).

To kick if off, the first hot chick of the week is Cristina Scabbia.

Ohhhh yeaaa....

Cristina Scabbia is the lead singer of the Italian metal band Lacuna Coil (co-lead singer with Andrea Ferro). Coil has an awesome straightforward metal sound. Check them out.

Osh kosh magosh!

She'd probably be cool to get a beer with.

Coil is one of my favorite post-80's metal bands, along with Iced Earth and Blind Guardian. Scabbia has a really good voice. And considering that metal isn't a sound really conducive to female singers, they do a remarkable job with the Scabbia-Ferro dual singer setup.

Good day!