[Some of] My Favorite Albums (Part 1 of 3)

This list is by no means complete or accurate, but it is a fair reflection of my favorite albums. You will disagree. That's fine. Just remember that I have a bigger dick, and that I am probably correct about the music too. Winky face.

Starting at the bottom of the list:

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#13.
NIRVANA: UNPLUGGED IN NEW YORK (1994)

Now don't let the position of this album on the list fool you, it is a great album. On beautiful acoustic and piano riffs, Nirvana rolls through some of their own hits, and does some really really good covers of songs that you otherwise never would have heard of. Cobain compliments the smooth rolling jams with soft vocals, instead of his typical throaty grunge voice. It is also significant because it was the first Nirvana album released after Kurt Cobain's death, in a way marking the end of the grunge period.

Favorite Lyrics: "Where do bad folks go when they die? They don't go to heaven where the angels fly. They go to a lake of fire and fry." - Lake of Fire.

Album Cover: Average. When I was young I also remember studying the album cover, looking at all of the instruments and people. There's a lot going on on that album cover.

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#12.

NEIL YOUNG: AFTER THE GOLDRUSH (1970)

This is an album filled with great songs. "Southern Man," "Don't Let it Bring You Down," "Tell Me Why," and of course, "After the Goldrush" make this album very memorable. Generally a slow album, it has a contemplative feel to it. He writes about castles, knights and days of yore -- which I'm sure are metaphors to modern day life, but the drug-induced translation is lost on me. Neil Young's peculiar voice and slow acoustic, along with a hard snare makes this a very balanced album. It has classic songs and a folksy feel.

Favorite Lyrics: "Thinkin' about what a friend had said, and I was hopin' it was a lie." - After the Gold Rush. "Don't let it bring you down, it's only castles burning." - Don't Let it Bring You Down.

Album Cover: Forgettable. Black and white inverted, and walking in front of a fence? Wtf.

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#11
GUNS N ROSES: USE YOUR ILLUSION II (1991)

This album opens up with the very epic song "Civil War." It tells the story of miscommunication and tragedy, with sweeping guitar riffs and heavy percussion. The album rolls into "14 Years" and "Knockin' on Heaven's Door." It goes through some harder songs, and in my opinion hits its apex with "Estranged" -- one of my favorite songs. It is a long song, an epic, not sure exactly what it's about, but it has really good piano thrown in. This album came out in the latter years of Guns N Roses' existence. They had put out Appetite for Destruction (1987) already, which is their hallmark album. In my opinion it is their more mature material, and marks the end of their time as a major force in hard rock.

Favorite Lyrics: "When I find out all the reasons, maybe I'll find another way, find another day, with all the changing seasons of my life, maybe I'll get it right, next time." - Estranged

Album Cover: Average/good. It contrasts with Use Your Illusion I (1991), which is the exact same cover but yellowish/orange. It's identifiable as the counterpart to the two-part series of albums which were released at the same time (and a true fan knows that this is the better one). I like the vertical text.

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#10
AC/DC: HIGHWAY TO HELL (1979)

Note: We are now in the top ten, strap on your seat-belts everybody. AC/DC's Highway to Hell was their last album with singer Bon Scott. They were about to explode onto the 1980's scene, but were met with tragedy. This didn't stop them from still being amazing. They picked up singer Brian Johnson and put out Back in Black (1980), a tribute to Bon Scott. It is the second highest selling album of all time in the world, behind Thriller (1982) by Michael Effin' Jackson. But anyway, back to Highway to Hell. This album is a fun rock album, including the songs "Touch too Much," "Shot Down in Flames," "Walk All Over You," and "Highway to Hell." It is the perfect album for cruising down the highway with the windows down on a warm day, or while grilling up hot dogs and hamburgers and playing football in the backyard with Brett Favre and blue-jeans. America.

Favorite Lyrics: "No stop signs, speed limit, nobody's gunna slow me down. Like a wheel, gunna spin it, nobody's gunna mess me around. Hey Satan, paid my dues, playin' in a rockin' band. Hey momma, look at me, I'm on my way to the promised land." - Highway to Hell.

Album Cover: Weird and amusing, especially after knowing that they are all basically midgets (all hovering around the 5' 0" range).

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Bollocks. I was going to do the list in one giant post, but I'm lazy and this is taking awhile. I'll complete it in two more installments. You will have to wait to find out the genius album selections I make, and not like them (probably). Until then, sex.


Post comments below, and please follow this sexy-ass blog. It goes to eleven.

Greatest Heavy Metal Singers (Readjusted)

Before I kick off into a treatise on the greatest heavy metal singers, I wanted to quickly note that I have successfully got back my old blog posts. I have moved them over to this blog. The only thing is that the videos didn't keep the original formatting I gave them when the HTML was saved, so they are slightly larger than the content column in the middle of the page. No worries, it's just an aesthetic matter. Now on to the fun stuff.

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Greatest Metal Singers of All Time


This is all made up from my own personal favorites, not based on real music knowledge, haha. With that said, there are two factors which make an awesome metal voice. One is the epic-ness of the voice, and second is the badass-ness. A combination of these two factors gives the singer a higher score on my list. Some singers are better at being epic, and others are better at being badass. You can have some people who are so damn epic, but have no badassness,  that their epic quality alone carries them to a high spot on the list. You can also have the opposite, where the badassness puts them high on the list.

How do I rate them? What's my methodology? Duh, I make it up. The max score a person can get is 100%, this can be made of a combination of the two factors, or one alone. It is nearly impossible to get 100% by one of those factors alone, because then your voice probably isn't metal -- it's probably [insert a music genre which is known for epic singers] or hardcore (which isn't heavy metal, let's get that straight from the outset).

So here is the list. The list will start at the top with the least-best and work its way up to the best, by cumulative score. Note: these percentages reflect the singer's voice, not their persona.

22) Dave Mustaine (Megadeth). 15% Badass; 0% Epic; -300% Sounds retarded. -285% total.
21) David St. Hubbins (Spinal Tap). 20% Badass; 10% Epic. 30% total.
20) Sabastian Bach (Skid Row). 30% Epic; 10% Badass. 40% total.
19) Brian Johnson (AC/DC). 40% Badass; 5% Epic; -5% Annoying. 40% total.
18) Geoff Tate (Queensryche). 40% Epic; 0% Badass. 40% total.
17) Phil Anselmo (Pantera). 40% Badass; 2% Epic. 42% total.
16) Tim "Ripper" Owens (Judas Priest/ Iced Earth). 33% Epic; 10% Badass. 43% total.
15) James Hetfield (Metallica). 32% Badass; 7% Epic; +5% Rah!. 44% total.
14) Till Lindemann (Rammstein). 40% Badass; 10% Epic. 50% total.
13) Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin). 45% Epic; 5% Badass. 50% total.
12) Bon Scott (AC/DC). 55% Epic; 30% Badass. 55% total.
11) Matt Barlow (Iced Earth). 30% Epic; 30% Badass. 60% total.
10) Freddie Mercury (Queen). 60% Epic; 0% Badass. 60% total. (not metal -- but so damn good)
9) Axl Rose (Guns N' Roses). 50% Epic; 10% Badass. 60% total.
8) Geddy Lee (RUSH). 60% Epic; 0% Badass. 60% total.
7) Meat Loaf (Meat Loaf). 65% Epic; 0% Badass. 65% total. (quasi-metal)
6) Ozzy Osbourne (Black Sabbath). 55% Epic; 10% Badass. 65% total.


5) Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden). 40% Epic; 25% Badass. 65% total.

Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden)

4) Ian Gillan (Deep Purple). 60% Epic; 10% Badass. 70% total.

Ian Gillan (Deep Purple)

3) Rob Halford (Judas Priest). 70% Epic; 5% Badass. 75% total.

Rob Halford (Judas Priest)

2) Hansi Kürsch (Blind Guardian). 80% Epic; 10% Badass. 90% total.

Hansi Kürsch (Blind Guardian)

1) Ronnie James Dio (Rainbow, Black Sabbath, Dio, Heaven and Hell). 250,000,000% Badass; 4,035,000% Badass. 254,035,000% EPIC AWESOME total.

Ronnie James Dio

(his epic singing kicks in around 1:45)

Ronnie James Dio recently died of stomach cancer. So sad. He was and forever will be, the man (even though he was like four feet tall, his voice was about 9 million feet tall).

Yours truly, 

-dWis

The Founding Founders: Led Zeppelin

The early Rock pantheon is occupied by only a few hallowed souls. But who makes this short list? Where did the best genre of music come from? We have to consider, at least, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, and Led Zeppelin as the primary founders. If these bands were late 18th Century American statesmen, then they would rank up there with Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, and Alexander Hamilton... undoubtedly.



Indeed, veritable historians believe that the two histories -- that of the American founding and of Heavy Metal -- may have been intertwined. Some recently discovered evidence indicates that Ben Franklin was a satanist, and that he mistook Black Sabbath as an ally. In fact, Black Sabbath wasn't a Satan tribute band, and in addition, they were quite the opposite of an ally. Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, and Led Zeppelin, being ENGLISH, were the enemy! (duh)

Veritable historians believe that Ben Franklin

may have been the first Black Sabbath fan... and a satanist.  

Because of Mr. Franklin's mis-perception of the Founding Fathers of Heavy Metal ("FFHM"), he adamantly supported them. At late hours, eyewitnesses occasionally saw him wearing heavy metal t-shirts -- which must have been really odd apparel for the time period. He was also seen shopping at Hot Topic once.

One of Mr. Franklin's other favorite bands was the mighty Led Zeppelin. This morning I heard one of their songs playing over the system in my apartment building... which is awesome, by the way. Quick aside: My building plays some random ass music, but it's always awesome -- from 99 Luft Balons to Land Down Under (hilarious music video).


You should know who Led Zeppelin is. If you don't, then I hate you, and you should rethink your life. I mean seriously, Led Zep has become a music icon... unlike Uriah Heep (whom I'll cover in a post down the line). Zeppelin started in 1968, and by the 70's were in full swing as (what I call) a proto-metal hard rock band. They did crap-tons of drugs, and probably sexed lots of women. They are often cited as one of the FFHM, contemporaneous with Black Sabbath and Deep Purple.

Now, it is hard to say exactly where metal came from -- most say Black Sabbath, which is likely -- but there are some examples of early songs that were very metal indeed. In-a-gadda-da-vida is surely a proto-metal song, but Iron Butterfly, despite having a kick ass freggin' name, were quite low on the Iron, and very high on the Butterfly (and drugs, I mean c'mon "In-a-gadda-da-vida"? Really? In the garden of eden, perhaps?). So while you have an early band, with a kick ass song, and name, the band was definitely not metal. They are like the Vikings discovering America -- they discovered the best thing in the world, once, but they just didn't recognize it at the time.

Leif Ericsson c. 1000 A.D.

Some fools actually cite a Beatles song (Ticket to Ride) as an early metal song. The Beatles were the Beatles. They were good at what they did, I guess. But they were not metal... please. I really don't see a plausible argument for saying the song Ticket to Ride is metal.. at all. Proponents say that it is metal because of its repetitive bass line. ...Well those people are idiots, and clearly know nothing about metal (after all, they are Beatles fans). See, e.g., Cliff Burton; Steve Harris; Geddy Lee (for an example of an epic bass-player-front-man with a metal as shit voice (at 4:07; also, the RUSH guys look like they are having lots of fun early-on in this video)).

So, in conclusion, "they are who we thought they were" -- Sabbath, Deep Purple, and Led Zep are the real founding fathers.

Have a happy thanksgiving everyone!

Why is Ke$ha famous??

So I just finished and submitted the second draft for my journal article (which is increasingly a pain in the ass as finals get closer), and of course the first thing I did was roll on over to Youtube to find the latest waste of time. So what is the first thing that I see? ...I see a seven year old kid (boy) wearing a blue plaid shirt rapping a ke$sha (intentionally not capitalizing her name out of disrespect) "song" whilst standing on some random ass railroad tracks.

...Alright seriously, what the hell is wrong with this picture? Let's run through the likely scenarios. First, the kid is such a fan of ke$sha that he asked his parents to help him film a cover/remix video of her "song" "We R Who We R."



By the way, as a quick aside, why can't we (and by we, I mean ke$ha) spell out the word "are"? Are we (you) too cool? It's more likely that she forgot how to spell the simple word ARE after years of text-messaging and IM/gchatting/whatever your fancy is these days. Lol, ;).

Anyway, under this first scenario, that means that ke$sha is gaining seven year old fans, and that parents are actually letting their kids listen to this garbage. If I had a kid, I would slap the crap out of him to prevent such heresy from the altar of the thing called METAL.

Second is the scenario where the parents of the seven year old kid are the ke$sha fans. I mean, seriously? I know I don't have a job, but at least I'm in law school... meaning that you should be doing something productive, which is like, the ANTITHESIS of ke$sha (being productive). And anyway, ke$sha is terrible music, and you should force your kids to listen to good music -- which, by the way, a scientific survey of all of society revealed that 99% agree that Metal is the best.

Third is the scenario where seven year old grabbed some of his friends and they went out and made a ke$sha remix. Well, this sucks. This would ruin my day, and probably my life. Because this means that seven year olds have the desire and know-how to make crappy videos. This is less likely, given the camera angle -- parent angle -- unless the seven year olds were standing on ladders while filming... which would be deceivingly impressive. This frightens me.

Fourth is the scenario where the child and the parents both independently enjoy and became fans of ke$sha and collaborate to make the film. This scares me most, because it implicates the broadest base of appeal possible -- from seven year olds, all the way up to adult (when does one become an adult?).

Either way, ke$sha sucks. I am not particularly opposed to the content of ke$sha's crap songs -- which I'm sure are about drinking and going clubbing and "boys" and shit -- but I'm fundamentally and absolutely morally opposed to the production of such terrible quality beat-jams. There is no harmony, rythym, or pretty much anything other than some lame-ass beat going on, with the voice of a barely post-pubescent young female mixed over top.

Ugh... You have shit (confetti?) in your hair.

And that brings me to ke$sha herself. She's not ugly, I begrudgingly concede that, but she certainly doesn't exceed the MEDIOCRE-looking category. When I think of ke$sha I just think of any random ass blonde-ish chick that I meet day-to-day. She has a forgettable voice, and an average face... whhhhyyyyy???

Iron Maiden: The Di'Anno Years

So being as Iron Maiden is the biggest and most well known band in the entire world, and being as everyone outside of the Eastern Bloc is an Iron Maiden fan, I figured I would put up a post about my favorite band. (actually, joking aside, I think Maiden is huge in the Eastern Bloc... I just like ripping on Communism)


But anyway, I was just listening to their first two albums with singer Paul Di'Anno, and every time I am freggin' surprised at how awesome those albums are. Amongst coffee-table metal fans, however, it's not that his time with Maiden isn't well acclaimed -- it just goes largely unknown.

Paul Di'Anno being badass.

Iron Maiden's "first" singer from 1978-81.

Iron Maiden's first LP was the self-titled Iron Maiden (1980). Of course the album is of epic-mega proportions. When we look back upon the 20th Century in the years to come, it will surely be one of the game-changing moments of the century, along with the rise of Communism, the Great Depression, the two World Wars,  the Civil Rights movement, the 1984 film Red Dawn, Rocky IV, and the consequent fall of Communism.

Iron Maiden introduced us to the songs Prowler, Remember Tomorrow, Running Free, Phantom of the Opera, and (amongst others) of course, IRON MAIDEN!

The band's second major release came in 1981 with Killers. The album was slightly less epic than the first, but still ranks up there amongst major 20th Century events, such as the Apollo 11 mission, the Vietnam War, the Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan, and Super Bowl XV. This album gave us Wrathchild, Murders in the Rue Morgue, Killers, and Twilight Zone.

However, Paul Di'Anno's time with the band ended shortly after Killers. He couldn't foresee, indeed no one could, the even more epic arrival of singer Bruce Dickinson. For while Di'Anno was an awesome man, Dickinson was (and still is) indeed a god on the vocals instrument. And I mean after all, Paul Di'Anno aged into looking like a fat douche anyway.

Paul Di'Anno looking like a douche. Circa sometime more recently.

Law School, Oh Law School!

Hello Cruel World!

I felt like posting up a message. It's just a rambling of crap I've been thinking about.

Okay, so! It's about that time of year again... finals! So I've been doin' some outlinin' and some readin' and some grovelin' (well maybe not groveling) ...Actually I've been spending my time doing some very valuable things like playing Call of Duty: Bad Company 2 (which is odd for me because I don't play much video games)...

...and watching important videos on Youtube like this Terminator 2 rap (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdpngMC5TKM&feature=related, i'm listening to it right now whilst I write).

But anyway, yeah, I'm full-swing preparing for finals, and trying to relax as much as possible... which is difficult. Most of my days are just reading and outlining, and writing. I'm doing the Economics journal at Mason, which requires me to write an article. Hopefully it will be published... I have a pretty good chance. I lucked out with a good topic (in addition to my amazing writing ability, of course).

I'm excited for Thanksgiving, which is coming up. The parents are actually coming down here to Arlington for once, which is cool. I haven't seen them in awhile. Also, my brother is over in Afghanistan these days... which sucks.

Me and my brother.

And yes, I realize that there is a lot going on in this picture.

One word to explain: NASCAR.

I sent him some DVDs to watch during thanksgiving time -- the logistics of sending him a turkey didn't add up, haha. I sent him the new movie Predators. It's a pretty badass movie. It has Adrian Brody not playing a pianist. He actually managed to play the role of a badass. I was surprised. The movie was entertaining, certainly not a masterpiece, but there was plenty of shooting and random violence... so cool, I guess, right? I also sent him Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. We both have a particular affinity for the Kevin Smith movies, being from New Jersey and all. I also sent him Joe Dirt. That movie is great. It has that hot chick -- Brandi? -- and it was only $7.99. Win - win... cheap hot chicks. I plan on sending him the Beavis and Butthead Christmas special episodes for Christmas. One of the episodes is a spoof of the classic It's a Wonderful Life, except in this version Butthead ends up not caring that the world is a much better place without him ever being born.

Right now I'm listening to Rilo Kiley's album The Execution of All Things (2002). It's pretty good, check it out. Here is one of the songs off the record -- it's laid back: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAcHnNd5Mg8 .

On another note, I found a very gorgeous girl while watching an old(ish) TV show called Dead Like Me (2003-2004). I will probably add her to my personal "most gorgeous chicks in the world list" that's ongoing in my head. Her name is Laura Harris. I wasn't able to find many flattering pictures, surprisingly, but here's one:

Good day!

Sincerely, SkiJump

Rod Stewart

The Musician Rod Stewart

Birth name: Roderick David Stewart

Born: 10 January 1945 (age 65) Origin London, England

Genres: rock, pop, blue-eyed soul, blues-rock

Occupations: Singer-songwriter, musician

Instruments: Vocals, guitar, banjo, harmonica

Years active: 1964–present

Labels: Vertigo, Mercury, Riva, Warner Bros., Atlantic, J

Associated: The Steampacket, the Jeff

Acts: Beck Group, Faces

Website: RodStewart.com

Biography

The one of famous celebrities Roderick David Stewart is a British lead singer and songwriter born and raised in London, England and at present residing in Epping. He is of Scottish and English lineage. His distinguishing hoarse singing voice, Roderick David Stewart was came to importance in the late 1960s and early 1970s with The Jeff Beck Group and then faces. He was launched his alone career in 1969 with his debut album An Old Raincoat Won't Ever Let You Down. He concentrate on his work with The Jeff Beck Group and Faces proved to be powerful on the arrangement of the heavy metal and punk rock genres. Both bands were also pioneers of blues-rock. where he has garnered six successive number one albums and his compute of 62 hit singles include 31 that reached the top 10, six of which gained the number one place. Roderick David Stewart has had 16 top ten singles in the USA, with four of this reaching number one. He has sold over 130 million records universal, and is one of the best selling British singers of all time. He was voted at #33 in Q Magazine's list of the top 100 Greatest Singers of all time
Awards

MTV Movie Awards
Year	Result	Award	Category/Recipient(s)
1994	Nominated	MTV Movie Award Best Movie	Song for: The Three Musketeers (1993) Shared with: Bryan Adams Sting For the song: "All For Love".

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