The best, sexiest, answers yet! So the idea of this column is that I ask chicks topical questions in order to improve the lives of fellow man. This is how it works: I send questions to a chick that I know, they answer anonymously however they want (including a free-style answer at the end where they can say whatever they'd like about anything), I post their answers, and people read them (most likely laughing -- with the guys secretly taking notes).
I will probably be sending out the same questions to 2-3 chicks over the span of one month so the readers can compare answers between the different ladies. Then I'll be sending out a new set of questions for the next month. It's fun, and interesting.
So here is the eighth neural synapse: Anonymous Chick #8.
1. When is it cool in a relationship for the guy to expect you to chip in some money for dinners, activities, etc.?
Definitely not on date one! The sign of a good date, for a guy, is she offers to pay. The sign of a good date, for a girl, is that he doesn’t let you. Really, it depends on what kind of dates you are going. It is acceptable on date two if you are going to a bar and she offers to buy the next the round. If you are going on the more traditional dinner and a movie dates, the guy should take the traditional role and pay through date three (then you bang after date three, so all bets are off). Men usually want to be the ones doing the chasing, and they want to be the aggressor in the relationship. With that comes paying for the dates. If you can’t afford it, don’t go on dates. Sorry about ya.
2. Do you like your guys to have a thin, athletic, average, or muscular build? Why?
I like my guys to be average to muscular body type. It is simple; I don’t want to feel like I outweigh my guy. I want him to eat more than me, I want him to be taller than me, and I want a guy to be able to pick me up. The last thing a girl wants is to feel like she needs to be the big spoon. If I sit on your lap, I don’t want to feel like my ass is going to eat you.
3. How does a guy avoid being put into the “friend zone”?
Don’t comment on every hot girl that walks by or that you have previously boned! That kind of conversation is appropriate with your buddies whom you don’t want to touch naked. If a guy is talking to you like you are his guy friend, you are going to assume you are just one of the guys. A girl will start to talk to him as if he is just one of her friends. That kind of uncensored honesty is not sexy.
4. Are there any hints you give off when you “like” a guy? How about when you want to “bang”?
When I like a guy I find excuses to talk to him, invite him places, and touch him. When I want to bang a guy, I wait till we are both wasted, then I stand too close to him pushing my breasts into him. Then I ask if he wants to go to my place. Usually works. By the way, guys should carry condoms when you go to the bar. Thanks!
5. Have you ever (would you ever) date a guy from work?
I dated a guy from work. NEVER AGAIN. The good part was sneaking away during the day and banging at my place over lunch. However, the bad far outweighed the good. I couldn’t get away from him! We would get into a fight, and I would have to spend all day with him. We would break up, and I would have to spend all day with him. Then we would get back together and start the whole cycle all over again. Even if you don’t tell anyone at work, somehow they all know and it is awkward as ass.
6. In the locker room, how much clothes do girls really wear? I’m sure that they are pretty much naked all of the time, but I just need confirmation.
Since we strapped on our first training bras, girls have mastered the art of to changing their clothes without ever actually being naked. We do things like put our shorts on then take off your skirt, or put our sports bra on over our real bra. Sorry to say there is little to no nudity in the ladies locker’s room... Then we all make out.
7. How much dirty nasty sex shit do you tell your girlfriends about your own sex life? How much detail do you go into?
My girls know everything about my sex life. They know what his penis looks like. They know what I did with it. They know what positions we did it in. They know what he said, what I said, and how I felt about it. If you are terrible or a have tiny penis, they will know about it. But don’t worry, if you have a monster dick and are sex god, my friends will know that too.
8. If you were a guy, who is a hot famous female that you would totally bang?
Angelina Jolie -- not mother-conservatively-dressed Angelina Jolie (with Brad Pitt), but oh no!, dirty, tattooed, making out with her brother, fucking Billy Bob Thornton in the limo on the way over Angelina Jolie. I miss that dirty, sexy, crazy bitch.
9. Would you ever have a three way, and if so, with two guys or one guy and another chick? And if not, why not?
Although the idea of two sexy muscular men with their hands all over me is very tempting, I don’t think I would ever have a threesome with two guys. As much as I love the gays, gay culture, and gay porn, I wouldn’t want to have sex with two guys that would be interested in having other men in the sack with them. Admittedly, the fantasy of bringing another girl into the bedroom is sexy, I would probably never do that either. I am a very jealous person, and I would be worried the guy was more into her than me. I will choke a bitch.
10. Freestyle. Go!
Why are men incapable of the fuck buddy relationship? They want to bang once, then never again. My girl friends have the same problem. I seriously doubt the reason is because we [females] are all bad in bed; you seem to be enjoying it at the time. I think they are scared if they sleep with the same girl again it will mean they are “dating” and heading towards a relationship. I know many busy professional women who are not looking to be in a relationship or dating someone. They just want someone to throw it in them from time to time, no muss no fuss. Look into it guys. Call that girl from Thursday night on Saturday and see if she isn’t game for round two.
Thanks Anonymous Chick # 8. Key takeaway: Fuck buddy with a monster dick? ... Check and check.
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