Panama Twice Over: An Application of the Law of Instant Negative Marginal Returns

So I was laying on my bed after being out drinking on a Wednesday night. Usual.  And I was sitting around in my Super Mario Bros. t-shirt thinking about what had just happened to me -- I had just heard the song "Panama" by Van Halen played two times, at two different locations within probably one hour. Unusual.

Album cover for Van Halen's 1984.

A classic album cover.

I had just been talking about Van Halen at the bar after they played an unusual amount of Van Halen songs in a row -- three.  One was Panama, another was Runnin' with the Devil, and I can't remember the third.  I have a mixed relationship with Van Halen, but at least they played their good songs.  So I was happy.

"Panama" off Van Halen's album 1984.

But then I walked home in the rain, like the poor schlub (word? spelling?) that I am.  I walked into my apartment building and LO! -- Van Halen's "Panama" was playing over the speakers.  I was like "uhhhhh..."  I felt an unsettled feeling in my stomach.  I couldn't pinpoint the emotion I was experiencing.  I got up to my apartment and I realized that I was angry...   I say that somewhat facetiously, cause I'm not a very angry person (I hope), but I realized an important truth.  I've always had a difficult time of explaining how I felt about Van Halen, and I think I've figured it out.

There are two important rules to listening to Van Halen to do it right.

1) A lot of their music is shit.  So only listen to the good songs.

2) Only listen to the good songs once.  If you repeat them, then you face the peculiar situation where you face instant negative marginal returns.

I will poorly draw an economics-y graph in MS Paint to illustrate:

So basically I can handle small doses of Van Halen's good songs.  After that, it just gets ridiculous.  I mean, I experienced something rare tonight too.  The year is 2011 -- it's no longer 1984... meaning that it's extremely rare to hear Panama played in different locations such a short time span apart... it's probably the equivalent of being struck by lightning while being eaten by sharks... maybe.  Who knows?

Listen to Van Halen with care is all I'm sayin'.